I’m tired of working for blond, tanned surfers

Except when their pricey boards break

Adios expensive driftwood. More will follow

Too bad. Jobless surfer caught some reef on his thigh

But fat, hairy, thong sporting Euro-trash … what?

How dare he walk on my beach and badmouth my turf!

If you like it so much, go back then!

I’m so mad I’m swelling up and plotting too

Fat-Ass Frenchman lies down for my gross hello

I’m the Tide that dumped a ton of kelp on you

Now try to take my sand out of your orifices