Now that we’re a couple

Some issues need to be resolved

Why must you take her calls?

I don’t care that she’s your mother

Who the hell do you really love?

By the way, I quit my job

Your happiness is now my career

Some things have been evicted

from our loving couple home

No beer, soda, chips or cigars

Trade-in your alleged ‘muscle’ car

for a far more sensible Honda or Nissan

No, I’m not done! You listen to me, mister!

What do you mean? There’s no love here?!

Don’t you care? You really don’t?

But we made love all day and night

That makes us in love, right?

Dating? What the hell is that?