Partners in crime – minor and large

Thick as thieves – cliché but fervently true

Keepers of secrets – appallingly vile 

Trouble? No trouble at all

Of course, you can stay… as long as you need!

Feast upon all my food – dearest friend

Sleep on perfect comfort – better than outside

So glad I could help – I’m such a good friend

Few weeks (or years) crawl forward

Alleged friend – when is the end?

Haunting about and eating – no food at all!

Drug, pack possessions, ample trunk – the plan

Drive for hours to train station

$100 in glove and note on lapel

It’s been great having you – moving to Nepal