Tag Archive: bipolar


Writer’s Obligation


Pencil to paper … why did it snap
Pen to paper … mistake, error .. can’t erase
Angry, salty moisture on my face
Just type, you lost writer … what is it again
Your eulogy, says a sleeping me to a weakling
Wake up, wake up alive, feeling heartbeats..mine
Shout out loud … I am good at wanting more!
Selfish, generous, hungry for wild sparks
Too late, settle down and breathe in your years
So wrong for wanting wild chaos in pouring rain
That was another hungry manic time and place
What am I doing here? Ah yes, in case she dies
Eulogy for bipolar face – when she’s off her meds
She’s amazing but I can write!

All Is Well


Content, cheerful, pleasing to all

No sacred off kilter variable

No lovely jagged edge

No wrongful shadowed kiss

All is well, sadly well

Medicated floors await appropriate me

Pathetically Epic


Everest, Sahara, English Channel

at my mortal lesser feet

Just a bit? Not enough

Vacuum, dust, sweep – perhaps mop

Abandoned laundry groans

I am sickly at knee and mind

So much, so much – fears strikes

Good friend – bed beckons

No judgment or even eyes

Still, grime is felt beneath guilty feet

 

On The Way To The End


Many creatures coming at me

Menacingly crowd around me

From another room – In another house  

Still, I can’t breathe – calm air

Small pill becomes tranquil island

Avert my eyes – sharks in the water

Stop scaling Everest, say skin and bones

Murder fear inside me – more pills, more

Stop, stop, stop – fear keeps you alive

Evicting monsters – moving in meds

Best to be calm on the way to the end

 

Sickly Stranger


Wearing manic sorrow as a tacky hat

Walking forward in drying cement

Damn thing holds everything back

Just hallucinating under mangled purple tree

Faces have no mouths, but still resounding

Around undulating streets in nothing town

Keep celebrating questionable scenes

So much better than psychotropic truth

Hat is gone to a better sickly stranger

 


So many people love you

It’s about me! Not them!

Just rise and take a shower

I might slip and die alone

Be positive about tomorrow

I could lose the fight today

You’re bringing everyone down

Then lower me down into soil

Or maybe you can just ask me

What it’s like to live this way

This episode has no fast cure

Be glad that I’m still alive

I am not responsible for others

Happy or sad is not up to me

This is harder than anything

And housed in an unarmed brain

You, me and all the shrinks

All try for what? A happy cure?

Try walking in my damn shoes

Or we can try the best treatment

Cutting and a merciful Ativan end

Ethereal Mania


Dear Lord, I beseech you

Knowing I am far beneath you

Have pity on my fractured soul

Driven by demon tentacles

In troubled brain, I lost control

See the tempest on my face

Throughout life my pain endures

O God, I’m not worthy to address you

Still bless me with a little mercy

This bipolar fears of going to hell

 

 

 

Love Ala Crazy


Liar! You never loved me!

Not one stab, slash or bruising

on your stark ravingly calm skin

Stop dodging all my manic swings!

No. Wait a minute, lover! Stop!

I must make you a good fit for me

Why did he go? I was being sincere

 

 

Go To Church


Wildly dancing arms

upward fluctuating fingers

Try to touch some undying sky

Feel the helm of Jesus, says sickly one

Ingested meds gift no one Nirvana

Mental oddities and novelties

Birthing placidly Atheist notions

For a while, six Lithium while

Is psychotropic diva a good deity

Is below feet the best way home?

 

Unwell


There is no will within

Yet damning duty calls

Neither well nor ill

Just a constant, dragging

State of aching empty

Yet want wants more

Cruelty is loud after a stupid yes

And body has culpable bones

that grow in desperation